(In a recent conversation with a person wondering what a Dearmoring session would be like, I felt the need to speak to the following aspect of the work. Thank you, Nancy, for encouraging me to write these thoughts down 🙂 )
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In bodywork settings, for some reason, many of us seem to have been taught to surrender to the practitioner’s knowledge of our bodies, only intervening to show a painful spot, jump up from the pain or completely step away from an uncomfortable situation. Under such circumstances we might at times, even if the practitioner is skilled at their technique, come out of the session feeling stuck and/or (re)traumtized.
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Soft dearmoring, however, the way I learned and practice it is different in that a deeply consensual framework is set up from the beginning. Of course, the client still needs to come in with a willingness to sincerely open up and release, but this intention of surrender is ultimately towards one’s own breath and deeper truth, not an outer “all knowing” practitioner.
 As a dearmoring practitioner, I am here to serve. To attune lovingly to what is unfolding in the moment. Not to showcase my knowledge and/or impose a method. The client, who is encouraged to fully engage with the process with breath and awareness, remains in charge at all times, saying “stop”, “more”, “less”, expressing needs, inviting the hand, pushing it away, etc.
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These things, when they happen in a session, instead of making me question my technique, reassure me that the client isn’t just enduring yet another disappointing or potentially scarring experience. They tell me that the person is feeling safe enough to show his/her/their needs, wants and dislikes and to gradually emerge into more of the fullness of who they are. And that process in itself, I believe, is part of what starts the melting away of the armor.